


This Is How I Really Feel

by SchelleBelleWrites



Category: SEVENTEEN - Fandom
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Soonyoung is soft for Seokmin, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 15:57:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16790107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SchelleBelleWrites/pseuds/SchelleBelleWrites
Summary: Soonyoung and Seokmin have been dating for seven years. They both have something to confess.





	This Is How I Really Feel

Soonyoung sat patiently at the small café table. Seokmin was late, as always, but Soonyoung could not fault him for that. He had known about his lover’s terrible timing long before they had started dating.

“Here are your drinks, Soonie,” his dear friend, Joshua, said as he placed the two drinks on the table. “Seokmin late again?”

Soonyoung huffed, “If that man didn’t already have my whole heart, I’d dump his ass.”

“Thanks sweetie, I love you two,” a voice chuckled as two arms wrapped around Soonyoung’s neck. Seokmin placed a gentle kiss on his boyfriend’s head before making his way to the seat on the other side of the table. “Josh, shouldn’t you be working? Not talking shit?” Joshua rolled his eyes and gave the pair a small wave before wandering back to the cash register.

Something felt off but Soonyoung could not quite place what it was. Seokmin looked a bit disheveled but that was nothing new. To be completely honest, Soonyoung was always more worried when Seokmin showed up neatly groomed. Those were normally the times that Seokmin had stressed himself out about work and decided to drastically change himself in an attempt to correct whatever the problem was. Those were also the times when Soonyoung would stay up all night, holding Seokmin as the world collapsed around him. No, Seokmin looked totally normal today. His greeting was nothing new; they always teased each other like that. The look in his eye though, that was frightening. Soonyoung had grown accustomed to his boyfriend’s short attention span. It was something that 

had almost torn them apart when they started dating but over time, he grew to understand that it was just one of Seokmin’s many charms.  
Seokmin’s eyes were oddly focused today, as if he wanted to memorize Soonyoung’s face, body, essence. The sudden attention from Seokmin made Soonyoung anxious.

Soonyoung shifted in his seat as he felt nervous in front of his love for the first time in many years. “Seok? You okay, baby? I’ve never seen you so focused. Did something happen at work?”

Seokmin softened his gaze and allowed it to fall to the ground. He sighed, “I’m fine. Everything is fine. You just… you look amazing today.” Soonyoung laughed lightly at Seokmin’s response. He was wearing his normal jeans and t-shirt. Seokmin never ceased to amaze him.

With that, Seokmin seemed to return to his normal, chaotic self. Soonyoung was grateful for that. He planned to propose to Seokmin today and he didn’t want anything to be in his way. His hands started to feel clammy as he thought about how their wedding would be. They had talked about it before, staying up until the wee hours of the morning to plan as many unrealistic things as they could. The fact that their plans would actually become reality made his heart flutter.

“You weren’t listening at all, were you?” Seokmin pouted.

Soonyoung had not even noticed that he had been daydreaming until Seokmin scolded him. “I’m sorry, babe. There’s just something on my mind lately.” He tried to hide a smile as he knew that Seokmin would think he was just playing around if he smiled. “Actually, Seok, I have something I want to talk to you about,” he reached across the table and took both of Seokmin’s hands in his. He knew with all of his heart that it was what they both wanted. They had been together for nearly seven years, since freshman year of university.

Seokmin’s heart dropped as Soonyoung took his hands. Seokmin also had something to talk about but he had a terrible feeling that it was not the same as Soonyoung. “Soonyoung, I have something to say too.”

“Let’s say it at the same time!” Soonyoung almost squeaked. Was Seokmin going to propose to him at the same time? He had seen videos of that happening but he never thought it could actually happen. “On the count of three. One, two, three!”

“I don’t love you anymore.”

“Will you marry me?”

Soonyoung hung his head. There was no way he could look Soonyoung in the eyes ever again. “What did you say?” He could hear the disbelief in Soonyoung’s voice but he had to stick by what he had said.

“I said I don’t love you anymore. I’m sorry Soonyoung. I don’t know when exactly it happened, I just know that I can’t keep doing this. It would hurt you even more if I played pretend. You deserve someone who can love you forever.”

Soonyoung felt tears gather in his eyes. There was an elephant sitting on his chest and his vision began to blur. This had to be some kind of cruel joke. He had devoted his everything to Seokmin. They had been with each other through everything. Seokmin had to be lying. “Seokminnie,” he managed to choke out. “What is going on? Has something happened at work? Whatever has happened, we can work through it together. We always do. You can’t just give up on us like this.”

“I already told you Seokmin, nothing has happened at work. I just don’t love you anymore,” even though it hurt him to see Soonyoung so vulnerable, he felt relief rush through his body. “I’m not apologizing for my feelings. I can’t control them anymore than you can control yours. I am sorry for the poor timing though, and for not telling you sooner,” at that moment, he suddenly felt strong enough to look at the older boy. “I should get going. I’ll stay at Chan’s place until you tell me I can come get my stuff from the apartment. Take as long as you need.”

Soonyoung stared at the love of his life in disbelief as he walked away from the table. Their seven-year love story was suddenly broken apart and burned into ashes right in front of his eyes. Soonyoung could not even run after Seokmin. He lacked both the strength and mental capacity to move. He was unsure of whether he wanted to hit him or beg him to stay. All he could do was let his head fall into his hands as the tears flowed out of his eyes like open faucets. Soonyoung suddenly understood how people could die of a broken heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Schelle write a happy story challenge: failed.


End file.
